And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize