Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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