hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize