I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
