Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
