you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize