he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
