I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
