Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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