I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize