Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
