Whod you bang
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
