i permit you to call me
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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