very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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