He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
