i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
