Moan for me like Helen Keller
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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