Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
