I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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