Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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