We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
