Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
