then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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