remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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