Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
