Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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