Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize