I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
