so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
