Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo