I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
