Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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