with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i wish my penis had a tongue
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
