happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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