I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
