Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
