After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
