dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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