this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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