dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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