Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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