I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
