S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
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the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
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Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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