i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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