So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
