Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I want her autograph on my taint
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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