your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
