brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
