On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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