I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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