i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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