The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
