she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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