just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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