Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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